The Local Newspaper of the virtual
village of Puckering
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| Village Sports Star in Juvenile Sex Crime Scandal A crime with implications that could shatter the world of village sport was disclosed just before going to press this week. Sergeant Archer reported that on Thursday night three youths were caught leaving the newsagents after reputedly breaking in. What’s more, they were caught red-handed clutching pornographic magazines! "I don’t really like to carry them," remarked owner Minnie Smalls. "I thought about canceling them but some of my regulars got quite upset. There’s not much by way of entertainment in Puckering." No criminal charges have been brought against the perpetrators at this point. However, the Gazette feels that followers of the Irregulars football team should know that the fall-out from this affair may well result in the team losing its leading scorer. Young Andrew Burstow was one of the youngsters tackled by police. Sergeant Archer had little to say at this point except that the parents had been informed. "I think it’s due to the influence of the modern sportmen," he noted sadly. "In my day you looked up to athletes as sportsmen and gentlemen. Nowdays it's all a bunch of lads trying to prove who is toughest. In the past we left the fire-extinguishers to the firemen. With this lot, you could probably get an England team together from the courts." When asked for comment, Irregulars coach Bert Walsham remained positive. "It's good it's all out in the open. Boys will be boys." |
| See also: Puckering Sport |
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