The spring Church Bazaar got off to a rocky start last Saturday afternoon when a row erupted between Mr. Nigel Worthington and animal-rights-activist cum- political-candidate Wendy Smith.

Mr. Worthington, a long-time exhibitor, was sanctioned after the painting he sold at last spring’s bazaar resulted in the death of the artist, his goldfish. This year’s offerings were created by hedgehogs which he dipped in paint and rolled across the canvas.

An outraged Smith quickly gathered a band of supporters around her and demanded that he be removed from the premises. Worthington met her opposition with his own, resulting in a stand-off that paralysed the show.

"I couldn’t get in," complained Mrs. Archer Winston, clutching armloads of lingerie as she stood in the Church carpark. "This is one of my best sale days, and it’s been ruined by those silly hedgehogs."

Others were more sympathetic to the shy animals. "If God had meant them to paint, he would have made them with brushes," said Nigel Mannerly. "Although, come to think of it, they are rather like brushes, aren't they? But the rolling part, well, that's quite unforgiveable."

Reverend Nigel Banks, acting as mediator, finally brought the stand-off to a conclusion, but not before most shoppers had left the church hall, anxious to avoid being caught up in the controversy.