It seems our Hermit is actually a horny little toad! You see I found Emma. I decided to ask our resident seer if he had any idea where she was, or might be in the future (sic). So I went to his little hovel and, lo and behold, there she was bold as brass. She's now staying there, "If I have no objection." I don't care, though I think Ann was a bit upset by it. He's been more in sight, staring like a love-struck teenager at his new beloved. At least someone is getting some!

Actually things have been better now and I'm forgiven. Not that I did anything, but I can be gracious. The only bad news is that because of the tree fiasco I had to agree to that insufferable git Cheater Vyse coming over to 'look at the fixtures.' Ann seemed to want it and I want to keep her happy right now. I still think Chester fancies her.

England seems different. Are the Mars bars smaller than they were? Did you know that in the States the Mars bars are different, more like a Milky Way? I do notice the food here. Some of it is better, but we went for a drive the other day and tried to get something to eat at the ridiculous time of 2:30. We eventually ended up in a tea shop with two pieces of bread, a single slice of cheese and a quarter of a small tomato on the side. Ann asked for a Diet Coke with ice and after some muttering they came back with a small tumbler with a single cube! And what the hell happened to the long skirts and cardigans on Blue Peter? Have you seen the new presenters? They are hot! I saw two Magpies yesterday and thought of two for joy. I bet everyone under 40 in England knows that rhyme.

So you're invited next week. The dining room is open and we'll eat there. Perhaps you'd like to spend the night? Ann is looking forward to meeting you and Caroline.

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