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Episode

Ten

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This page contains most of the content from the main 'story line' characters. It is designed to allow an easy way of keeping up with the story on slow connections (or for reading later). It is, of course, no substitute for the real thing!

Shirley

Oh itís you. So nice to see a friendly face. I tell you weíve had so many men traipsing through these rooms in the last few months that it hardly felt like a home. Still itís over. They left this week. No offence, but good riddance! I mean, itís a bit much isnít it? Maybe things can get back to normal around here though, of course, with the wedding itíll be a while before we have any quiet. More Americans coming! Miss Ann was a surprise, her being so quiet and all, but Iím sure this lot will be loud and wanting coffee at all hours.

Youíd think Frank would be happy to see them gone, but heís mooning over that slip of a girl and sheís off to America. Silly cow said she thought heíd visit. Frankís not going anywhere I can tell you that, least not outside of a wooden box! Well, sometime you just have to face it, donít you? Heís not getting any younger or any more sensible. I mean heís a lovely man, very gentle, but well, it has to be said the manís not always right in his head.

Martinís outside in the garden, watering again. Daft sod! Amount of rain we get and he spends his time practising his watering. He thinks that Hollywood is coming calling so he wants to keep his hand in. Wish theyíd had him putting in the veg, thatís what I say. Still canít complain, weíve been together over fifty years. Iíll be surprised to see Ann and that fool Tinsley make that!


Simon And Ann  

To: Ann
From: TheSimmons

Ann,
I phoned Carol last night and she told me again how thrilled Jenny and Janey are to be included in your wedding party. It meant a lot to her, and to me, that you asked them to share your special day. They are all so excited about visiting England. The girls have never been abroad before, you know. Carol and Dick have visited Canada and Mexico, of course, but never "crossed the pond" as they say. Patricia, Joel and the boys are definitely making the trip, but Ned and Janet probably wonít come as he still isnít well and they rarely travel far. Your father is disappointed, but weíre hoping that you and Simon will be able to come over again before too long and celebrate with everyone here. Weíve booked our tickets for the 27th of July so weíll have a few weeks together before the Big Day.

Love,

Mother


To: Simon
From: UPPC

Cricket Sunday 1:00 at home.

Know you've not been as keen this year but we're a bit short in the bowling department this week and wondered if you'd mind turning your arm.

Damn women are playing some county game and we're left facing Duckton without them. Also Ferdinand is getting married and half the team will be gone for the weekend so we are left a little short.

Basically we're desperate.
Hope you are available.

Nigel Morcombe
Captain, Puckering Irregulars Cricket Club


To: Philip Porkridge, Chief Accountant, Stoney Grove Trust
From: Simon Tinsley, Executive Director, Stoney Grove Trust

Blimey, what a weekend!

Look I'm sure this is a given but don't mention the card thing to Ann. I'm not supposed to be gambling at the moment and I'm not sure my losses would go down very well.

It was great of the Hat to get us into that club though, wasn't it. Certainly gets your heart going when those cards are flipped over. I think we should go again but this coming weekend I'm playing for the Irregulars again. Morecombe asked me to play and I really have not been able to find the time this season so I said yes. I think they may still be a man short - do you want me to try and get you a game?


To: Simon Tinsley, Executive Director, Stoney Grove Trust
From: Philip Porkridge, Chief Accountant, Stoney Grove Trust

OK on the 'you know what.' Mums the word, though that's kind of a funny saying considering your Mother. No offence.

I guess I could play cricket this weekend. Not sure if I have any white trousers though - can I  wear  tracksuit bottoms? Obviously I can find a white shirt. Does Morecombe know that I'm more of a batsman than bowler? Not sure that my slow dinkers are ready for a real outing.

Yes, I'll play!

Phil


To: UPPC
From: Simon

Nigel
Sure glad to turn out to help the Irregulars when I can. Only hope I can match some of my previous performances.

Got another player for you. Old school friend, Phil Porkridge is willing to turn out. Basically his bowling is terrible and he's a complete rabbit as a batsman. Still he'll field enthusiastically and he is a warm body.

Sorry the women are not playing. See you Sunday

Simon.


To: Ann
From: Partygirl

When are you going to get ICQ, girl? Email is a drag. Jen and I made our reservations to Heathrow on July 30th. Would have come earlier but Jen couldnít get off work. Her boss is totally clueless. It really sucksówe wanted to go clubbing in London but you probably wonít want to go the week before your wedding. Itís going to be way cool anyway.

Can you fix us up while weíre there? Jen broke up with Mike, and Iím always unattached, so weíre ready to meet some new men. You must know tons of single guys. Simonís totally hot!

We got the dresses. Jen needed to have hers taken in some more, but mine fits. I think it makes me look fat, but Jen said not to stress.

See ya!!

Janey


To: Partygirl
From: Ann

Hi Janey,

Glad you got your tickets and dresses. Sorry you canít come sooner, but we might be able to pop up to London for a girlís night out. Not sure I can help you with the men. I know a few unattached ones who are really nice, but somehow I donít think theyíre your type. Iíll ask Simon.

Give me a call if you need anythingóotherwise Iíll see you at Heathrow in July!

Ann


To: Simon
From: UncleHenry

Hello old son. It's your uncle Henry.

Glad you could stop by last weekend when you was in London. Always a pleasure. As I am sure you realize you walked off with my Hat. Be obliged if you could send the hat forthwith, or suitable compensation. It was, as I'm sure you understand, a very expensive hat.

Yours affectionately

Uncle Henry


To: Ann
From: CVees

Dear Ann,

Thank you so much for including me in your wedding. I am honoured to have been chosen as one of your special friends and will do my utmost to see to it that all goes flawlessly. I have already been fitted for a new suit. I do have occasion for formal wear more frequently than one might expect.

Iím delighted that we will be able to begin restoration upstairs. Work on the saloon has moved remarkably quickly since you loosened the purse strings a few weeks back. Iím now waiting for a final confirmation on a wallpaper style from Emmaóshe has a portion of the historic photo collection at her flat that includes an early view of the room. You may recall that I had asked that documentation like this not leave the house, fearing that just such an inconvenience might arise with people borrowing things and taking them home. Still, I hate to be too hard on her. She has, as you are no doubt aware, recently split with the vicar and seems quite blue. Iím so glad to see that your relationship with Simon has survived the rocky patches that inevitably occur. I continue to admire you Ann, for your ability to overlook our everyday foibles. Few women would show such forbearance towards something like gambling, for example. I would caution you, however, as a man of the world myself, that characters like The Hat can spell trouble in the long run. He was in the village, you know. The Hat, that is.

I have taken it upon myself to review the progress of the Church restoration, and can assure you that the sanctuary will be at its best on 11 August.

With all best wishes,

Chester


Deleted:

To: Simon
From: LoverLinks

Dear Mr. Tinsley

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Name: Mr. H Tinsley
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Dining Room

Shirley: Oh my God, what the bloody hell are those doing out? For goodness sake, young lady, cover yourself up. And Mr. Tinsley! What do you think youíre up to? John, stay out in the hall. I donít want you in here right now.

Mr. Tinsley: Calm down, Shirley. This is Karen. Sheís a body double for Miss Toussand. Sheís a professional, you know, gets paid well for what she does. She was just showing me herÖerÖfilm assets.

Shirley: Oh, is that what you call them? Well, you could both do with finding a place a bit more private to play show and tell. The lunch dishes are still about and there are tourists in the house!

Karen: Sorry. Iím just taking a break from the filming. Itís such a bother to keep getting dressed and undressed, so I thought I'd just hang out here until theyíre ready for me again.

Shirley: Well, youíve hung out long enough. This used to be a respectable house.

Mr. Tinsley: Some people are so old fashioned.


Emma: Did you get the invites sent out?

Ann: Yes. Iím quite excited. It seems like it's really going to happen now.

Emma: It had better. I just got back from buying my bridesmaidís dress!

Ann: How are things going with you and Nigel? Have you really split?

Emma: I donít know whatís going to happen. Weíre still good friends. Now that Iíve got my own flat things are much easier. I donít have to feel so illicit and so dependent all the time. You know, it was hard work dating a vicar. Everyone is always watching, and they always have an opinion.

Ann: Did he mind that you donít go to church?

Emma: He said he didnít. Iím not sure, really. I mean, heís devoted his whole life to doing this one thing, and I say I donít believe in it. It does make you wonder how he could not mind. But thatís really not why I moved out. Things were just happening a bit too quickly. Iím still sorting out how I feel. About him, about John, even about Frank. Relationships are a bit of a disaster for me. I always end up hurting people.

Ann: Youíll sort it out. And I wouldnít worry too much about Nigel. I think heís a very understanding man.


Arthur: My goodness Alan. The takes from those final scenes. I had some early doubts about Suzanne butÖ

Alan: I know. She was tremendous. The passion...

Arthur: Not just the passion. It was all there. The love, the fact she knew she was leaving. It was all there and the punters will love it. I'm already telling the marketing people to jump the ad rates. This will be monster.

Alan: And it will ease the way for the Americans. They want a name, but when they see this...

Arthur: You are the man!


Arthur: Now I know that you're sorry to see us go, but while that may add a tinge of sadness to the proceedings, we are just delighted with our stay and our results.

Simon: And the house will appear in the credits?

Arthur: Of course. And I hope that our 'little' cheque comes in handy too!

Phil: Actually, I'd just like to say, sort of in my official role, you know, as accountant, that the cheque is going to allow us to step up the restoration of some of the upstairs rooms. We believe that we will have some additional rooms available for viewing. In time for the wedding, that is. Thank you.

Chester: Of course, providing that nothing unforeseen arises. Still, I must admit to being pleased with the progress so far. I believe that the damage caused by the filming has been managed and we can progress. Work can be such a blessing.

Arthur: Oh, you're having a wedding here? Well that's nice, it will be some consolation for losing us.

Ann: Thank you Arthur. You are actually invited as it's Simon and I that are getting married.

Arthur: Really? Oh well, I'm sure Irene has it in the Palm Pilot and I'm sure we're all delighted for you. Now I hope this is soon, because we have another project to announce. I can officially state that unofficial talks have started with a major Hollywood studio, whose name I cannot divulge yet. The production will be a modern re-telling of a classic fairytale and, suffice it to say, I really believe that Alan Carver's next production will be the epic we've all believed he's capable of. What is more, a little birdy has been telling me that if things work out, Suzanne will be his little Princess!

Ann: So you are all going to Hollywood? You and Irene?

Arthur: Irene has to come, don't know what day it is without Irene! Anyway she's happy to go, arenít you Irene?

Irene: It really is a tremendous opportunity for me.

Arthur: Of course it is.

Ann: But what about Frank? It's none of my business but, well, it'll be hard for him, won't it?

Irene: We've talked. It's only for a year at first, and I'm sure he can come visit.

Ann: And Suzanne will be going out too? What about Gary?

Irene: Gary was on break from his series so he's going back to his sitcom, George. It's really very popular, though I think it's getting renamed Bob, since the original George is back in rehab, but he'll still be Phil.

Ann: I see. Well I hope it all ends happily ever after.


Emma: Frank, are you all right?

Frank: I donít think so.

Emma: Whatís wrong?

Frank: Itís Sam. Sheís left me.

Emma: I think you mean Irene.

Frank: Yes, thatís what she calls herself now. Irene. Sheís going away again.

Emma: Did she tell you where sheís going?

Frank: No, I donít want you to do that!

Emma: Frank?

Frank: Oh, sorry. She said she could stop her. But she canít. Irene wants to go. She wants to go to Hollywood.

Emma: But sheíll come back?

Frank: Stop saying that! Itís not true!

Emma: Frank, focus. Talk to me. Iím here with you. Will she come back?

Frank: I donít know. I donít think so. Why should she? You left and didnít come back.

Emma: That doesnít mean anything. She could change her mind. Or maybe you could. You could visit her.

Frank: Why do you have to leave?

Emma: Letís go back to the Hermitage. Iíll make you some tea and we can talk some more.

Frank: I canít go, you know. Iíll never leave this place again.

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