To: Simon Tinsley, Executive Director, Stoney Grove Trust
From: Philip Porkridge, Chief Accountant, Stoney Grove Trust

Cold feet yet?

I was sitting here writing my best man speech and it's a corker I think! Little bit of humour, few anecdotes, all the thank yous. It's coming along nicely. It helps you being such a slimey bastard and all!

I wouldn't want you to think that I've not been working though. Looking at the tax position I think it's going to be really hard to write off the wedding as a tax expense. Now as you pointed out the house will be open, and most of the village is invited but the problem is that it is essentially a private function. Now if you want to open it up to whoever wanders by then we may have a chance, but the Inland Revenue get a bit sniffy about this sort of thing.

I've done the six month accounts. The money from the filming obviously helped a bit, but I must say that your expenses seem bit excessive and, to be frank, things are looking a bit tight. Don't spend any more!!!! Ann's very frugal, so that helps, but maybe we should reconsider Corporate sponsorship for the house. We could rename it like they do the football stadiums. "The Shell Stoney Grove" - has sort of a ring to it, don't you think? Anyway, perhaps this should wait until after the honeymoon.

Fancy a swift one at 6.00pm in the Idiot, or are you surrounded by guests?

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