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Episode

Three


Alan: We went through this before with the production of Fire and Spit. I cannot have interference in what I am trying to do. I know there are compromises, I know we have to adjust to budgets, but when the camera rolls I am in charge and it's my vision that is on the screen. Mine. Not yours. Not the boardís. Mine.

Arthur: Absolutely, Alan.

Alan: The cast is with me on this. Did you hear them? Did they not cheer when I stood up for the art of the actor against the suits that try to run this business? They don't usually like me, Arthur. Respect yes, fear even, but they were with me today.

Arthur: This isn't like you, Alan, we're not trying to interfere. There's no disagreement here, you can handle the love scenes any way that you want. It's just that with the advance word out and with a lovely new star like SuzanneÖ well there are expectations.

Alan: I'll not have her exploited. She's a jewel, Arthur. I tell you she shines on the screen.

Arthur: And we should use that. Give her the range, let her show the public what she can do.

Alan: No, I've quit. I told the cast, I told the crew, it's over. If I go back now I will have no integrity.

Cynthia: Can I come in? Alan, the cast wants to know if we're done for the day. Suzanne's standing around in a silk dress and Peter's down to a shirt, and it is still March.

Alan: Didn't they hear me quit? They applauded me!

Cynthia: Oh, were you serious? I mean, I think they appreciated the sentiment and all that, but I don't think that they actually thought you'd quit.

Alan: I can't put Suzanne through the scenes with that old hack Willey. And then tomorrow putting her with Archer. I'm just not sure he has the range to match her passion.

Suzanne: Alan, I cannot be left like this. Oh, hello Mr. Daily, Cynthia.

Alan: I know, I know. We'll change the script. We'll do the scenes with Gary and Peter off-camera or something.

Suzanne: Are you kidding? This is my career! Those scenes are in, or I'm out!

Arthur: Look, I'll go and explain to the cast that you're in charge and we'll carry on.

Alan: That's all I wanted. Ms. Toussand, let us continue.


Ann: This place is like Grand Central Station!

Simon: Look Ann, Iím really sorry.

Ann: Donít be sorryóit was easy to fix. Be happyóweíre getting married in one, two, three, four, five months!

Simon: Iím just a bit stressed. Not about the wedding, though. Really. It just seems things are getting away from me. Look, I probably should talk to you about the guest list.

Ann: Tomorrow. Enjoy life while you can, Tinsley. Itís all going to get more hectic. What have you been doing that's so stressful?

Simon: Well, Iíve been stuck in the office helping them with the fax machine.

Ann: So Iíve heard.

Simon: And it got me thinking...What are you doing in, say, five minutes?

Ann: I have an idea. Do I need a double?

Simon: Never!


Womanís Voice: Sheís not happy, you know. All this talk about nipples and demographics, whatever that means. She just wanted someone to tell her story.

Frank: Well, they are telling her story. Just making it a bit more, um, up-to-date.

Womanís Voice: Thatís not what they called it in my day! Have you seen the shameful goings on in this house?

Frank: Well, they were rehearsing the love scenes this week. Between Loretta and Reginald, and Loretta and Arthur. She can hardly objectóshe wrote them herself.

Womanís Voice [indignantly]: She most certainly can! I wasnít born yesterday, young man! I know the difference between make-believe and the real thing. There are people here carrying on that have nothing to do with your motherís silly book. And some combinations of characters she never envisioned, I can tell you that!

Frank: Weíre all adults. Times do change.

Womanís Voice: Thatís not the way she sees it. She blames you, you know.

Frank: What did I do?

Womanís Voice: You could have stopped it. You still can. You own the rights.

Frank: No, I canít stop it.

Womanís Voice: Why not?

Frank: Because I think Iím in love.

Woman [snorts]: And that is relevant becauseÖ.?

Frank: She's helping shoot the film. I canít interfere with her job. Itís important to her.

Woman [snorts again].

Frank: Are you still there?

[Silence]

Irene: Frank, is that you?

Frank: Irene? Hello. You lookÖquite beautiful today.

Irene: Thank you. So do you.

Frank: The poem you read to me last night was glorious.

Irene; Iíve written another if youíd like to hear it. Why donít we go back to the Hermitage--that is, if youíre done here?

Frank: I guess I am.

Womanís voice [snorts]


Shirley: Martin, what are you doing up?

Martin: Iím coming to the meeting, woman.

Shirley: Donít be daft. You donít need to be sitting around listening to this load of rubbish. Go lie down.

Martin: I told you, I feel fine. Thereís nothing wrong with me.

Shirley: You donít have your strength back.

Martin: Thatís not what I remember hearing from last night.

Shirley: For goodness sake, man, go back to bed.

Martin: Save your breath, Shirley, Iím going.


Cynthia: Everything all right then, Suzanne?

Suzanne: Hardly. Iím frozen. I probably already have influenza, Iím just too cold to know it yet.

Cynthia: You both did a nice job with that scene. Alan was really pleased.

Suzanne: Well he bloody well should have been. If I had to kiss that old lech again, I was going to throw up. His breath is disgusting. Poor Karen.

Cynthia: Donít worry about her. Sheís just glad to have the work.

Suzanne: Well, Iím glad my body-double days are behind me. Itís so much more fulfilling to be a serious actor.

Peter: So you think Iím disgusting, do you? How refreshing! Most women find me irresistible.

Suzanne: Which women would those be, Peter? The grannies that come to watch you perform? Oh, I seem to recall that even they stayed away from your last effort. What was the name of it, Cynthia? You know, the one that closed after three weeks?

Peter: Are you ready for the scene with Gary tomorrow? I suppose you two didnít need much rehearsing, did you? No, wait. Gary  said that you might need more practice. Bit of a cold fish and all of that.

Frank: Oh, hello. Sorry to interrupt. I thought I heard voices, and popped in to see if anyone was here.

Suzanne: I was just leaving. Iíve got to go get some clothes on.

Frank: Let me make you some tea. You donít look well.

Suzanne: Forget the tea. Can you get me some Scotch?

Frank: Iíll see what I can do.

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