Have a Cuppa with Shirley (or John)
Well, hello! Good to see you. Sorry to say my Gran and Granddad are out, but youre welcome to share a pint with me. What do you fancygot one of those new cans of Boddys or a bottle of Old Peculiar. Wont be a minute.
There you go. Nothing like a good pint on a hot day. It was pissing down last night, but todays been lovely, dont you think? I've been out in the garden planting some new beds down near the terraces. Put some snapdragons in near the hollyhocks. I always liked snapdragons; theyre cheerful flowers, you know.
So, I guess youve heard about me. Blew me over, really. I mean Im a grown man and just finding out who my Granddad is! Bloody hell. I dont really believe it, and anyway, Martin will always be my real Granddad if you know what I mean. Spent my life with him and all.
Before they left, Gran got all serious and said she needed a word. I thought shed found some more reefer lying around or something. But thats another story. Instead she tells me that when she was young, she and Monty Hall were an item and that she got knocked up by him. Not exactly in those words, you know, but thats what she meant. She thinks that as his grandson, Im due some big inheritance, him being the last Hall.
That would be brilliant! I could own the place and do as I like. And Emma, well, shed have to forgive me if I was her boss, right? Only joking. Weve had a talk too. Its been a week for talks.
I think it was my poem that did it. She caught me up after the last meeting and gave me an earful. Not that she wasnt right. I deserved it. Shes trying to reform, be a model citizen, and I go dropping her in the nick and covering my behind. Well, I didnt mean to, honestly. And Ive gone to court and paid my fine. Cost me a fortune, but maybe thats not such a problem now, you know? So I figure its done. She acted like she was still angry, but I think shes getting over it. I hope so. Have you seen Emma? Well, drop by her office and take a look. She's worth waiting for.
That was a quick one. Hold on, Ill get you another. Old P, right?