Have a Cuppa with Shirley (or Martin)
Hello there! Martin tells me you stopped in awhile back. Beyond 'is growl he's really quite a considerate man, isn't he? Always keeping track of the comings and goings for me whilst I'm away. You know it's been a long time that the two of us have been together. Sometimes it seems like yesterday...
Never mind. I am sorry to have missed you. I was down to Vera's for a few days. Cornwall's lovely this time of year, quite peaceful really. None of the holidaymakers about stopping up the roads and snogging on the beaches. And it's always nice to be with family, you know. We had a lovely visit. It's a pity that John was in and out. He's such a nice boy. Well, young man, really. They grow up so quickly these days, don't they? He popped out shortly after I got there. I suspected he had got a girl on the side, what with the way he was preening himself before he left. If so, she wasn't having any of him--he ended up here with Martin and the lot. Poor lad. My grandson deserves nothing but the best. He's had a bit of a hard time of it in the past, but things have a way of working themselves out, I always say.
So, what's new down in the village? Haven't been out much since I came home, though I suppose I ought to pop 'round to see Minnie Smalls and collect the mail. No hurry, it's never anything more than bills and sweepstakes and the like. Still, I'd like to pick up my copy of the Daily Mail before it's too late. Alway some good bit of gossip in there.
You haven't bumped into Tinsley and that friend of his, have you? He's gone and left his wife. I blame his lordship, he probably filled the poor man's head with all sorts of nonsense, and the daft bloke listened. These young people have no idea of what's right these days, do they? First Tinsley and Miss Simmons spend all that time living together, whilst he's chasing everyone in a skirt, then Frank goes and shacks up with that Emma (not that he hadn't been lonely, poor lad, but still...) then the two come from the Caribbean, one black, one white, neither of 'em with enough sense to get married before they bring a child into the world. In my day it didn't happen that way, I'll tell you that. Well, well, enough said. I think I hear the kettle. Can you stay for a cuppa?