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Stoney GroveIf you manage to go over that horrendous bridge at Dartford (how can it be safe? I drive it with hands clenched and my eyes closed), you will head South on the M23 towards the Downs and eventually see a sign for Puckering. Go through Puckering (this is the place, not a command to Caroline!) and you'll see that the 'new' village is Lower Puckering and the quaint story book village is Upper Puckering. Actually if you get to Upper Puckering you've gone to far. Take a left at the Church and after a mile you'll see a brick entranceway which is the drive. Actually it's more like half an entrance, since one pillar is falling down.
You are now in Stoney Grove. Follow the road for about a mile through some woods and a hay field. The main road splits into three as you approach the house; go straight or you'll end up by the stables or the enclosed garden. If you find yourself dead-ended into a thicket of overgrowth and a crumbling brick wall, you've messed up (you could be at either garden or stables, actually). The house looked a bit like that when we bought it, but it's better now.
We'll be watching for you; haven't managed to find the right man for a butler yet.
By the way, try to avoid the subject of Jackie (probably best for both of us!). I had a letter from her and may make a trip to London to catch up. I don't want to mention it to Ann, there's nothing going on, but Ann seems a bit jumpy at the moment. She asked me about women's voices in the bedroom the other day and if Emma hadn't turned up with the hermit I think I would have been accused of spiriting her away to my dark tower and assailing her virtue. Actually Emma seems more than capable of managing her virtue. Anyway I think Ann is homesick, or something.
We have a new pub, did I say? The Village Idiot, which serves its own beer called the 'Flaming Monk', a dark brown colour and it's a little heavy but comes with a real kick. Not sure where the name comes from but it leaves a stain like a monk's haircut that won't come out!
See you soon,
Simon