|Puckering Lose 11-0|
|Without Knobbly Lyles, banned
for the season, Puckering were no match for Ballsgate. Lyles's demise came after being
interviewed following his antics of last week when he head-butted a referee and bit a dog.
The reporter had asked what Lyles would say to the Amateur Football board and Lyles
replied that he thought the Chairman, Archibald Charles, was a gin-sodden old git who had
no business commenting on the behaviour of others. These remarks the board found
unacceptable and Lyles was banned.
Without Knobbly the Puckering Irregulars were like leaves blown on a dark and stormy night. Ballsgate scored seemingly at will, the passes flowing freely with elegant moves that mimicked like the steps of an elaborate dance. "I thought that until they scored the seventh we were still in with a chance," opined manager Bert Walsham. "But once I realised we needed to score eight to win it seemed the writing was on the wall." This is the best start to the season for the Puckering Irregulars in twenty-three years. -- Lumpy Gaites
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