"It's not as surprising as you may think," said the Reverend. "There is quite a tradition of beer and the church, going back to the monasteries. Quite frankly, we really need the money."

The beer has not yet been named. Readers are invited to write in with suggestions (e-mail the Puckering Gazette at gazette@stoneygrove.com). "We are looking for something with an ecclesiastical bent, something that is in keeping with the other main beer of the brewery, the 'Flaming Monk'," noted Reverend Banks. "We think this imaginative campaign will do really well for us."

Though he may be found in the Idiot, the vicar is proving he's no fool when it comes to fund raising. Parishioners stopping in for a pint after work may be sure they will find the vicar helping the sales along. -- Nigel Twicks

"We do know that a lot of it is associated with Stoney Grove," he said. "We've had some inquiries from a Miss Knytleigh asking for some objects and papers that she feels relate to the history of the house. Unfortunately the wheels of justice turn slowly and we must do things properly.  A crime has been committed and justice must be done." Miss Knytleigh has not been available for comment on the exact nature of the missing items. --Nigel Twicks

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"It's a job with some strong historical precedents," he noted. "Many houses in the eighteenth and early nineteenth century had extensive parkland that included a number of buildings evoking Classical times. It was not unusual to include a hermitage among the temples and monuments that dotted the countryside. A few landowners took it a step further and employed a man to live alone and in basic conditions as a recluse. When visitors came they would show him off along with other aspects of the landscape."

Frank has lasted far longer than most of his historical predecessors. "Most of them got fed up after a few weeks and slipped off to the pub and got drunk, but I kind of like it. I don't really fancy being around people, and this way I don't have to meet many of them."

More recently Frank has been seen outside of the Hermitage and in the company of a young lady, a subject he refused to discuss. He did say, however, that he was thinking of branching out into prophecy and fortune telling. "I spend a lot of time in my house and sometimes I see things," he mused. "I knew England were not going far in the World Cup."

Prior to his present job, Frank taught English in a comprehensive school in London. The strain reputedly brought on a mild breakdown that led to his coming down to the country. "Montgomery Hall was a lovely man. He helped me a lot and gave me a place to cogitate," reminisced Frank. A man of few words, he had nothing to say on the present owners. --Nigel Twicks